Scotland / Storm, whiskey and monster
4 December 2013 – We leave at night , a few hours ‘ drive from Beauvais . The cheap plane by the cheapest airline leaves at dawn. Direction – Edinburgh. The flight went smoothly despite my airsickness. With the first foot on the ground , my toes feel the temperature change . A deadweight loss of about 10 degrees. The bus drops us at the great Christmas market, right next to a guy wearing a Kilt playing the bagpipes – I admit it’s cliché, but hey we like that too – . After some strolling beneath the Ferris wheel and around the rink with the smell of sausage and mulled wine, we decided to go and drop our suitcases off. After a good ten minutes of waiting, the guy who runs the hostel finally opens up. The room is cool, and didn’t really cost a penny . Thirst kicks in, we start to wander towards the port. A guy in the street recommend we go to the Nobles, a bar in Leith. There is a maritime atmosphere, the owner with his hair slicked back sporting a Top Gun t shirt serves us a Guinness and some nibbles …Tonight’s program , ” Lounge Concert!” Two guys with mustaches and their guitar and banjo play their blues and folk covers ! We eat duck terrine , and sink a pint … A paunchy customer sitting at the bar goes to find his bass from his car ! The guys play cool, laugh and drink ! The atmosphere is relaxed and at home . We drink one more to give us the courage to face the cold and windy road back . Night.
In the morning, the wind is blowing violently , trees are bending and power cables are floating in the air. During breakfast , we find out that a strong storm passed over Scotland depriving 100,000 homes of heating and electricity. Gusts up to 220 km/h have swept the country … Wrapped up we take a stroll in the icy streets , stopping every 100 meters to warm up … The city is fairly rich , there’s a castle , original galleries , big banners , good restaurants, neat historic buildings , designer boutiques offering champagne to their clients, guys who carve ice … so all good! After 7 hours of intensive steps to discover the nooks and crannies of the city , we end the journey by getting lost in a kind of small alpine like village … The sad panini from lunch is far away. We find an expensive restaurant where they serve us a heap of fried food and a few glasses of wine. For a change , we go back on foot with our heads spinning and feet killing.
Wake up at 8am in the morning, quick little brekkie and finally to lose my virginity with driving on the left hand side. Direction Glasgow about 80 kms … Despite some bibbing on the horn and 2-3 scary moments, the journey was smooth … We park the car, take a snack, post 2-3 crappy things on social networks then take a stroll in the center. Contrary to what we were told, the city is quite attractive and we would have like to have stayed there a few days.
Timing rather short . Direction to Loch Lomond … 1 hour and a half drive . In two hours it will already be dark . Winding road , littered with uprooted trees , sheep out of sight … Night falls violently and we ask advice from a girl about twelve years old to find a hostel … She sends us into the middle of nowhere … We are lost … We continue to drive … the night is black … We finally arrived at a hostel at the foot of the lake. It is 1 or 2 °c . It is 4:30 p.m. … At the reception we are told that there is no heating or electricity in the rooms due to the storm … but it will probably be fixed tonight … We lie down on the cold bed in the dark….and then we finish at the hostel bar … the decor is really cool. There are plenty of old photos of the lake, stuffed animals , weapons and a fireplace where a few logs are burning nicely … After 2 pints each and nothing in the belly , we are sufficiently warmed up and ready to eat. It is 6pm and we’re completely drunk when we eat a kind of beef dish ( which has the same taste more or less as the beef bourguignon ). We are happy being lulled by the crackling fire . A small group arrives with dogs and headlamps … We finish with a few local whiskies … We leave and it’s raining … I snore loudly until morning
Wake up in front of the lake, majestic … Giant breakfast. Leave for Inverness… The A82 road we wanted to take was closed from the storm … We decided to take the A9, shorter but a little less glamorous. Estimated time 3h45 of road … Serene, we will be there in the beginning of the afternoon … I zigzag between the fallen trees, sheep, and long haired cows … Quick stop in Perth, coffee, snacks. The more we drive, the more the landscape becomes whiter and desert like. We made a short stop to walk, and eat two or three things that we brought with us … There’s a campsite, caravans, everything is empty and covered in snow … On the road, drive, drive … the wind is strong, I slow down… the journey is infinite between these mountains .. It’s dark, exhausted, I stop every half hour ..
We finally arrive in Inverness , it is past 6 pm . We drop the car off and go to the hostel we have booked into. A blonde woman with one hell of an imposing body opens the door . She must be in her 60’s. She says she does not work there but we took the keys to a room on the ground floor anyway. There are bills everywhere. The room is spartan and a bit scruffy . No towel or double bed. It’s okay we were happy considering how tired we were. We call the owner to find out how to pay … He told us to leave the money and he will pick it up in the evening … We start surveying the city . There’s not much to do here. We go to have a beer in a crowded bar. There’s a group of 4 guys between 60 and 80 years old who are playing some old rock hits . A guy asks us immediately where we come from . He is completely drunk like 99% of people in this bar. It’s loud and people are dancing … We get on it and take a big gulp. It is a happy mania. There are some old women with tattoos on their arms who are trying to pull 18 year old guys , everything is going well. After a few drinks , we begin to find everyone nice … we dance , drink and dance … Back at the hostel. We cook some rice and chicken slices. We are alone in the hostel . There’s just the woman who opened the door that seems to be in another kitchen upstairs. She is signing then shouting … I’d never heard anything like it… The minutes pass … I said to my girlfriend , “She must have a psychological problem” … The wind is blowing outside … I start to snore …
Wake up at 9am , the bedroom door is blocked with a chair. My girlfriend has not slept all night … The woman was rowing with a guy during a part of the night , and then after there was a noise against the window , the door wouldn’t close , footsteps in the hall and then the psychopath… It’s raining , we take the road to the Loch Ness monster … No monster on the horizon, just a dense fog, and a rather creepy landscape. This is where legends are born … We had a little walk in the forest and on the pebbled beach . Again there are sheep , it’s cold and raining … Wet, we get back in the car … It ‘s time to go back to Edinburgh. The road is breathtaking . Lakes, mountains, sheep, castles. No one on the horizon. There is something here a little like the “cradle of humanity” , something similar to Jurassic Park.
Arrival + mulled wine + Indian food.
Departure 3:30 am to go to the airport … We land in France shattered but full of unimaginable pictures in our heads , we de-ice the old Twingo, it struggles and it’s impossible to accelerate , we drive back at 50km / h
Valentin Porcher
