Instafood, survival kits and other crap by Elisa Routa

2 MN

Instafood, survival kits and other crap by Elisa Routa

This morning when I woke up, I made scrambled eggs with bacon and coffee whilst watching the tv. With the exception of my mother who insists on having a detailed report of what I’ve been up to, this information will not leave my apartment since most of my friends, virtual or not, could not care less.

Posting a picture of your breakfast on Instagram springs to mind or maybe displaying one’s penis as a profile picture on any social platform. This is exhibitionism that I could do without. My diagnosis is final, you have a 3G OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder of the 21st century which is as crazy as the mysterious force that pushes you to check your Facebook page at 3am when you open an eye after changing sides because your right arm is paralyzed.

My smile is as pale yellow as my gone off egg yolk at the sight of your carefully organized dishes stuck in a geometrically perfect setting and displayed on my laptop screen. Your plate is not an apartment that needs a particular arrangement or decoration at the forefront of fashion inspired by a great Italian designer. Mashed potatoes that are cubed on one side , a turkey breast cut into a circle with a pastry cutter and another with hazelnut butter cut into an isosceles triangle in a screaming Picasso. Without a doubt the power of the Picasso food and I ask myself : Is it necessary to display this porcelain structure , as pretty as it is, on Instagram ?

17 million photos on Instafood, thousands of cupcakes , hundreds of macaroons and tons of tarts of all kinds of genres, and here we are in 2013 , the era of utopian survival kits. We believe that going on vacation for 15 days with a shirt, a pair of woolly socks , a camera that does not work which is plugged into an Iphone headset are actually part of our fantasies. Like Russian pornos and Narnia. Jeeze, wake up! Today, who really takes a trip round the world with a 40 cm leather suitcase that struggles to close whilst all good sports shops sell backpacks for less than 50 €?

This morning, my yolks matched the floral designs on my plate. The roses drawn on my coffee cup seemed to harmonise with the shining fat of my bacon. I thought it was pretty and delicate. So I took a photo.

And yet the hashtags on Instafood make me vomit as much as a melted cheese dish on 15 August in Dakhla in the Western Sahara… I’m not going to share the details of that day with you.

And so I will just continue to devote myself to my new favourite pastime, scroll through the billions of comments from groupies written below pictures of Justin Bieber, where I have been witness to quarrels more violent and bloody than some scenes from Gladiator.

Shit. I’ve been ‘flashed’ by Instagram.

Elisa Routa

http://elisarouta.com/

Interview réalisée par Valentin Porcher
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Andorra, Belarus, Croatia, Iceland, Monaco, Norway, Russia, Turkey, United Kingdom, Switzerland. 

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Free delivery for orders over €200

Delivery time

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For the festive season, the deadlines are extended to 30 days.

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  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

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  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, all you have to do is stick your pre-paid label (provided at the time of delivery) on the package, insert the completed returns form in the parcel and drop it off at a Mondial Relay point.

How can I return my package (International online returns)

International return packages are at the customer’s expense (including cost of shipment by the chosen carrier, customs & duties, taxes, etc.)

To return your parcel, it is very simple :

  1. Go to “My account”, in the “My purchases” section,

  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

  3. If your order is eligible for return, please tick each product you wish to return. If a product has been ordered in several copies, you can indicate the quantity to be returned.

  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, simply download the return form and place it in your package. 

  6. Send your package to the address indicated on the return form.

Want to make a return request with a guest account?

It's very simple : Send us a message via the “Contact us” link in the footer of the home page of the olow.fr website. Select “Customer Service” then indicate your order reference, the items you wish to return and whether you wish to request a refund, credit note or exchange.

How long does it take to get my money back once my package has been sent?

Refunds will be made within 10 days of receipt of your items and automatically to the account associated with the credit card used for payment or to the Paypal account used for payment.

Is it possible to return my item in the shop?

No, for all internet orders, returns can only be made to the address mentioned below.</p

Stock AZ-OLOW
Rue du Nauron,
79180 Chauray

>

What can I do if my item has a defect?

We take great care in the manufacture and finishing of our products. However, if you wish to report a manufacturing defect on a product, we invite you to contact our customer service by the "Contact us" link at the bottom of our site page.

Desperately Seeking Susan
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Free delivery and exchange offered

For orders over €120, delivery in France is free.

Returns are free from France thanks to our prepaid label.

Prices and delivery times

Shipping cost

Collection points: €5

Home delivery with signature: 7.5€

Free delivery for orders over 120€

Delivery time

2-4 working days

Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Italy, Malta, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Ukraine. 

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €9.5

Free delivery for orders over €200.

Delivery time

4-7 working days

Andorra, Belarus, Croatia, Iceland, Monaco, Norway, Russia, Turkey, United Kingdom, Switzerland. 

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €18

Free delivery for orders over €200

Delivery time

5-8 working days

Returns

You have received your order but the product does not suit you?

You can return your products within 15 days of receiving your package, for any order.

For the festive season, the deadlines are extended to 30 days.

The items must not have been worn, washed or damaged and must be returned in their original packaging, in perfect condition for resale.

How do I return my package from France?

Return shipping from France is free via Mondial Relay.

To return your parcel, it is very simple :

  1. Go to “My account”, in the “My purchases” section,

  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

  3. If your order is eligible for return, please tick each product you wish to return. If a product has been ordered in several copies, you can indicate the quantity to be returned.

  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, all you have to do is stick your pre-paid label (provided at the time of delivery) on the package, insert the completed returns form in the parcel and drop it off at a Mondial Relay point.

How can I return my package (International online returns)

International return packages are at the customer’s expense (including cost of shipment by the chosen carrier, customs & duties, taxes, etc.)

To return your parcel, it is very simple :

  1. Go to “My account”, in the “My purchases” section,

  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

  3. If your order is eligible for return, please tick each product you wish to return. If a product has been ordered in several copies, you can indicate the quantity to be returned.

  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, simply download the return form and place it in your package. 

  6. Send your package to the address indicated on the return form.

Want to make a return request with a guest account?

It's very simple : Send us a message via the “Contact us” link in the footer of the home page of the olow.fr website. Select “Customer Service” then indicate your order reference, the items you wish to return and whether you wish to request a refund, credit note or exchange.

How long does it take to get my money back once my package has been sent?

Refunds will be made within 10 days of receipt of your items and automatically to the account associated with the credit card used for payment or to the Paypal account used for payment.

Is it possible to return my item in the shop?

No, for all internet orders, returns can only be made to the address mentioned below.</p

Stock AZ-OLOW
Rue du Nauron,
79180 Chauray

>

What can I do if my item has a defect?

We take great care in the manufacture and finishing of our products. However, if you wish to report a manufacturing defect on a product, we invite you to contact our customer service by the "Contact us" link at the bottom of our site page.

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